Tag
by Killian
Summary: Emotional tag. Yes, I love you but I can't be with you because I'm too afraid of getting hurt. You were too afraid to be with me so I didn't try to convince you otherwise. Tag, you're it.
1. Chapter 1

_Imagine a scene where two little kids are playing tag. One of the kids is blond, a loud and energetic little kid. The other is a brunet, a shy yet friendly child. The boys are chasing each other as a form of entertainment. Currently the blond is running away from the brunet. But the blond is running out of breath, slowing down with each step. And then, the brunet's hand touches the shoulder of the blond. _

"_Tag! You're it!" _

_

* * *

_

"You've been avoiding me."

"No shit Sherlock," Jou muttered, slamming his locker shut. He swiftly turned around and started walking away without even a goodbye or even a careless insult. Seto simply followed.

"Jou," he whispered. Jou froze in his footsteps.

"Don't," he murmured in reply, tears choking up his voice. But Seto was persistent and wouldn't give up so easily.

"We need to talk," he stated simply. Jou took a deep breath and turned around, slowly lifting his face to look up at the man behind him.

"What's there to say?" Jou asked, his voice so close to breaking. He paused, letting the silence sift between them. He recollected himself. "What we did Seto, it crossed the line. It may have begun as just a fling but it… it meant something to me, Seto." Jou ran his hand through his hair absentmindedly, taking another deep breath. "It's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Why not?" Jou said exasperated. "Don't be so naïve." Seto raised his eyebrows questionably but Jou just ignored this motion. "We hated each other," Jou stepped closer towards Seto, his voice down to a low whisper. "And we let it continue, pretending that we still did." Jou laughed bitterly. "The rules changed on me- they changed on us." Seto just nodded, silent for a moment. Then he spoke.

"I forgive you Jou for being selfish and only thinking about yourself because it is too often that I pretend that I have no emotions so that it is easy to believe that I don't. But I do and just to let you know, it affected me too." Seto sighed then, his voice and manner suddenly becoming more business like. "But you're right. It wouldn't work. It's better to just forget it ever happened." He gave Jou a curt nod. "Good day," and with that Seto walked down the hallway and out into the parking lot.

Jou stared after him.

And then he ran, ran after Seto only to watch from the school's steps Seto's car driving off into the distance. The light rain that had started to fall only moments before began to hurl itself to the ground in buckets. Jou stepped into the rain, taking slow steps and letting the cold rain soak him to the skin. His clothes stuck tightly onto his thin body.

It had begun so simply; first a kiss, then two, then many. With Seto enticing him into empty classrooms, luring him into secluded areas. Seto's hands running through his hair, caressing the crevices of his body, sending shivers down his spine.

It had felt so good. So good to have a warm body to lean up against. So good to have some secret lover to run away with during otherwise boring free time. So good to feel wanted. But then Seto invited him over to his house. And Jou made the mistake of accepting.

It was a mistake to accept the invitation in the first place, to bring their so-called relationship out of its usual arena. And then it was a mistake to go into Seto's limo and continue to play with all the interesting buttons. It was definitely a mistake to enter Seto's house. And obviously it was a big mistake to follow Seto into his room. It was a mistake to then continue being in his room after the door was shut and locked. It was another mistake to let Seto lead him to the bed. And yet another mistake when Jou laid down on the bed next to Seto. It was a mistake to kiss Seto then and to let Seto deepen it, getting his tongue involved. It was a mistake to let his shirt become unbuttoned and fall gently to the floor. And it was a mistake to let the rest of his clothes follow. And unquestionably it was a mistake to let Seto's clothes join them. And the rest…. Those were mistakes too.

Jou sat down on the grass, staring out into the world around him. For some reason, it no longer felt real to him.

Emotions are confusing creatures, dwellers of the night and stalkers of the day. There is desire, the want of something. Like how a five-year-old desires an ice-cream cone, all special and rare and delicious for someone so young. And of course so easily within reach. Oh how Jou wishes to be five again, to have what he desires so attainable, and to have his wishes so effortlessly granted.

And there's regret, the scary monster five-year-olds have yet to uncover. Regret of doing a deed that really didn't need to be done. Regret that something considered so special might not mean anything at all, that it might so easily be tossed away and forgotten. Regret that you took the wrong course and that there's no going back.

Then of course there's rejection, the thoughts of hell, the mutterings of the devil. No, you're not wanted after all. You've been returned because you're faulty. You're not worthwhile, not worth the effort or the risk. You're not special. You're not needed. You are easily disposable, easily forgotten. Who are you again? Oh yes, I believe I met you before but I'm afraid I can't bring myself to remember your name. You are not loved.

Jou lay down, burying his face into the wet grass. One by one he let the tears fall. One tear for being so stupid to follow Seto into his bedroom that fateful night. Another tear for being so naïve to believe that it meant anything. A tear for hoping that his feelings weren't only one-sided when obviously he knew the truth. A tear for thinking that he could just forget this whole event and go on with his life. A tear for screwing up the one thing that he had ever felt so strongly about.

Jou's crying turned into sobs; wracking painful sobs.

"_Seto," Jou breathed deeply as Seto's lips pressed gently against his collar-bone. Seto slowly moved his mouth up to Jou's neck, nipping it lightly. "Kiss me," Jou whimpered impatiently. . _

"_Be patient **aijin,**" Seto whispered seductively, sending a shiver down Jou's spine. _

"….It wouldn't work. It's better to just to forget…"

Why?

_Jou sat on Seto's desk right behind the laptop on which he was working on. Jou sat there quietly, watching Seto. _

"_There's no one here," he whispered into Seto's ear causing him to jump. _

"_What did you have in mind?" Seto asked, acting nonchalant. Jou licked his lips and stared at Seto, almost making him squirm. _

"_Lots," Jou murmured. Seto put away his computer. _

"….It's better…To forget…"

Why?

_Jou stared into the dark at the boy who lay panting next to him. He could feel Seto's skin soft against his own, each of them naked, both literally and symbolically. The two boys avoided each others eyes, trying to find something stable to rest their gaze on. Unable to find such a thing their eyes locked and they stared at each other for a moment. Suddenly, Jou felt a fluttering feeling in his stomach, rising all the way up to his heart. _

"…It wouldn't work…"

Why?

Jou continued to cry, not caring if anyone thought him to be a spectacle, just lying in the grass crying his heart out. But there was nothing else he could doand nothing else he could say. His heart was breaking.

And, no matter how hard they tried, all the king's horses and all the king's men would not be able to put Jou's heart back together again.

* * *

– To Be Continued –

**_Aijin: _**Lover in Japanese (supposedly)

Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

_There were two boys sitting in the sandbox at the park. They had been trying to dig a hole to China but then decided to stop because they didn't really want to go to China. And due to the fact that they were tired of digging._

"_Want to play tag?" The blond asked. The brunet shrugged. _

"_Okay." He playfully hit the other boy in the head. "You're it." _

"_No," the blond shook his head, hitting the brunet back. "You are." But the brunet tagged the blond again. _

"_Now you are," the blond frowned. Then he tagged the brunet again, this time running away before the other boy could touch him. _

"_Fine then," The brunet sighed, standing up. "Ready or not 'cause here I come." _

* * *

Seto knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what. Or actually, no, he kind of did know what was wrong. But that didn't mean he understood.

It hadn't been that long ago, not long at all since the day the invitation was offered. The invitation that changed everything.

_Seto stood in the doorway of the classroom, watching from across the hallway a certain blond who was currently getting his books from his locker. His lips slowly curved into a smile. He walked over, gently slipping his hand onto Jou's waist. _

"_Wha- oh." Jou jumped, surprised at the sudden contact. "Hey," he murmured. Seto twirled a lock of Jou's hair around his finger, staring at Jou almost tenderly. He let go of Jou's waist and leaned against the locker, watching Jou as he stuffed he books into his backpack. _

"_Want to come over?" Seto asked. Jou looked up and gazed uncertainly at Seto, trying to decipher the question. _

"_Uh," Jou started. _

"_I'm sure we will find something to do," Seto said almost innocently. Jou's eyes went wide for a moment, a red tint appearing on his cheeks. He thought for a moment, and then he grinned. _

"_Alright." _

"You've been avoiding me," Seto said.

"No shit Sherlock," Jou replied rather hastily, obviously avoiding Seto's gaze. Seto stared as Jou swiftly turned without even a goodbye or last glance. He frowned slightly, with an almost hurt expression on his face. "But why?" he muttered to himself. He followed Jou.

"Jou," he whispered. Jou stopped instantly at the sound of Seto's voice.

"Don't." Jou's voice was hard and final. And cold. Something which Jou _never_ was. Jou was warm. He was happy. He was…

_Their first kiss, fittingly, occurred underneath the cherry blossoms. _

_They lay side by side in the shade, tree roots digging into their stomachs. They were silent, with only a bird or two chirping in the background. They were locked in a gaze, one which neither could break. They looked straight into the other's eyes, looking for something, something that might explain what was about to happen. _

_Seto leant over._

_They were so close. They could hear each other breathing, slightly heavier than usual. They were immensely close. So close that they could k-_

_Seto pressed his lips onto Jou's. _

_But only for a moment for almost immediately after he pushed away and looked up at the sky nonchalantly. He didn't even try to comprehend what just happened, merely concentrated on breathing. _

"_Don't you hate me?" He almost jumped at Jou's voice. It was so warm, so gentle, and so naïve in a sense. Seto couldn't answer or wouldn't answer more likely, a question which desired such a straight answer. He just couldn't give one._

_But then Jou's hand slowly crept over his, the warm touch of another living person, a person who just might, care? But Seto couldn't help feeling that maybe he should pull his hand away. But his mind wasn't working. Or so he convinces himself. His hand seemed to have a mind of its own,to please excuse the cliché. He tightly gripped Jou's hand, pretending to not even notice when Jou edged closer to him, resting his head on Seto's shoulder. But really Seto noticed, having Jou in such a close proximity made Seto suddenly… more aware. Of everything. _

Seto had never answered the question. Of course Jou never brought up the question again, but Jou's own answer seemed to stare Seto in the faceit was so obvious.

_It was a dull afternoon, a long boring class in which Seto and Jou took two seats in the very back next to each other. Seto had looked up from his laptop to find Jou… staring at him. _

_Yes, staring at him. At him. Seto smiled at the thought. Then he caught himself and glanced around the room to see if anyone noticed. Seto leaned over, placing his hand on Jou's thigh. _

"_Jou," he murmured into the boy's ear._

"_Meh?" Jou practically jumped, his whole face turning a horrible beat red._

_Jou hid his face from Seto the rest of the period. Which is rather unfortunate for then he might have found Seto, in turn, staring too. _

It was his fault.

Seto drove home, wondering how in the hell it had come to this. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. This was not what he wanted to happen. Not in the least.

But it was his fault.

If only he had answered the question. If only he hadanswered that bloody question. If only he weren't so proud, so stubborn… And so weak, so weak to actually be afraid that maybe he could be rejected, that maybe his feelings weren't returned even when he knew in the back of his mind they were.

Why didn't he just blurt them out? Just say something, anything, no matter how simple the words. Just something to convince Jou that this wasn't just some _fling_, something which Seto could simply dismiss and forget about.

It was all. His. Fault.

And what was he going to do about it?

Seto's eyes suddenly blurred, from what he could deduce to be tears. Nothing. That's what he was going to do. And why? Because he was an idiot. What could he do, after he ended it so completely that that folder of his life was permanently closed?

It wasn't like he didn't know the answer.

Oh he knew it. Seto knew it alright.

Suddenly he couldn't drive anymore, couldn't see past his hands due to the amount of liquid blocking them. He didn't care that there was someone honking at him from the car behind him. Didn't care that he was blocking up traffic. He didn't care if people were yelling profanities at him. Didn't care if he was about to get a ticket from some fucking police man.

He knew the answer. In fact, in his heart, he always knew the answer. He just didn't know how to get those words out. Those sacred, scary, three words.

And contrary to what Jou believed, that night affected him too. Everything affected him. Everything about Jou.

Why?

"Jou…" Seto murmured, his head resting on the steering wheel causing the horn to blare constantly.

"I love you."

* * *

**Thank you for reading. **

**I hope it doesn't seem too rushed. **


End file.
